THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN—Hallmark of a Sociopath
Sociopath a.k.a. Anti-Social Personality Disorder or Psychopath
When you are under libelous attack by a person who has deceived and defrauded you, there is a possibility that the person is a sociopath.
Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience, and no remorse.
They will lie, cheat and steal from you and then tell everyone that it is all your fault.
See also: Slander Tactics
Witch burning
Psychopath Resistance
- Vulnerabilities exploited by manipulators
- What is a narcissistic injury? — R. H. Writes
- 100 Traits & Behaviors of Personality Disordered Individuals
- Why the Disturbed Characters in Your Life Don’t Seem to “Get It”
- Disturbed Characters Never Want to Accept Blame
- The Narcissist Epidemic
- What Is Reactive Abuse?
- Happy Valentine’s Day! Be careful.
- Distortion Campaigns
- 14 Manipulative Tactics
Psychopath Free
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Love Fraud
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Salem Witch Hunt 
The hardest thing for me in recovery has been dealing with the smear campaign. He has, and still is, telling outrageous lies about me to his family (including his 3 kids, who I was close to), our mutual friends, and others in our small town. I’m always wondering, when I run into someone he knows (he grew up in this town and I didn’t, so there are MANY people he knows), whether he has smeared me to them. I used to preemptively try and clear my name, but I’ve learned it’s just best to be friendly and let them figure him out for themselves. And if they don’t, or won’t, then they are not people I care to know anyway.
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It’s gotten so bad that I’ve considered moving out of town; I still might.
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I sympathize, totally. Each victim of this sort of abuse will respond differently, because each of us has unique circumstances and a unique emotional setup, which is the result of unique life experiences. That’s why advice such as “Don’t let it bother you.” or “Forget about it and move on.” may be well intended but not very helpful.
The smear campaign is a vital part of reversing the appearance of who is the abuser and who is being abused. This role reversal tactic is used by all abusers because it is so effective (see DARVO). It diverts attention away from the abuse and onto the victim, who then is incriminated and, most likely, intimidated from speaking out.
There is not one way out that suits all victims of abuse who are cornered in this manner. It is up to each of us to consider all aspects of all options—as best we can—before deciding on how to deal with the predicament that has been forced upon us.
Being friendly toward people, including those who may have been negatively influenced about you, sounds good. You will gauge their reactions, and if they are positive, you may regain confidence and trust over time, and eventually regard the smear campaign as ancient history that no longer impacts your life.
However, it depends on who you are and your unique circumstances if that is the right approach for you. If you must associate with people who are on “his side” and it causes you stress, depression, or anxiety; or if you are tortured by not knowing who holds a bias against you and who doesn’t, you will probably consider either isolating yourself or starting afresh in a different place.
One of the bullies who abused me and spread malicious rumors stated that it was clear who wanted to “move on” and who didn’t, in other words criticizing me, their victim, because I did not quietly accept the mistreatment but asked for an explanation (which I never got.) Switching the appearance of abuser/abused is standard procedure for all abusers. The actions of the abuser are not mentioned so that all attention can be directed at the victim. Stripped of the context, the victim’s reactions appear to be unprovoked and inappropriate—as if out of the blue—with manipulated bystanders hopping on the bully’s bandwagon as a possible result.
In my case, for example, anything I say or do will add to the notion that I am the one who “does not want to move on,” the one who “has issues,” the one who “is irrational;” deceptively seeming to validate the negative image of me spread by the bullies and making me look like the faulty party. Their idea of how I should “move on” is that I understand that they are more powerful, accept the pain and damage they have caused and the repulsive manner with which they went about it, shut up, and stay out of sight. That would suit their interests well, but not mine… My way of “moving on” is to pursue justice and hold the abusers accountable.
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“Stripped of the context, the victim’s reactions appear to be unprovoked and inappropriate—as if out of the blue—with manipulated bystanders hopping on the bully’s bandwagon as a possible result.”
OMG yes, before I finally resolved to go NC all the way and blocked his calls and texts, he would text me nasty remarks to which I replied in the same vein. I later learned he’d shown the reply texts to others without showing the one’s he’d sent to me first, which were obviously meant just to goad me into responding so he could say “see, she won’t leave me alone, she’s stalking me”. I still haven’t gotten over my anger at this and everything else he’s done. Some days are better than others; today’s a bad one.
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Yes, it’s infuriating. It aggravates me immensely when evil doers pull off their devious malicious schemes and get away with it again and again; abusing others with impunity and without the slightest blemish on their “nice guy” public persona reputation. Victims find themselves framed in such a way that there is nothing they can do without making matters worse for themselves. Actually, there is something we can do to fight back and also regain a bit of dignity: we can blog. By exposing the bad guys and their evil ways, victims are supporting each other, spreading invaluable information to others, and hopefully shrinking the predators’ hunting ground.
Check out the article at http://looking4mygps.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-smear-campaign-of-abuser-top-3.html. It is very good!
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I firmly believe in shedding light on the bully/abuser. My sister and I have blogs detailing the abuse we’ve suffered at the hands of — our own younger sister. And still experiencing at the present!
She sent an anonymous letter to my job Nov. 2012, then on Jan. 22, 2013 admitted on the Huffington Post to doing it. We go to court in less than 2 weeks.
meanwhile, I blog, I left several comments after hers on Huffington –
click on my avatar to get to my blog – I will never stop exposing abuser’s dirty deeds
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Ruth, I have read some of your posts on other blogs and wholeheartedly sympathize with you and your sister in fighting back the betrayal your younger sister visited on you both. I too have a rotten sister, and came to the realization 5 yrs ago that she is a sociopath. She has all the usual traits and is great at lying, framing, truth-twisting, manipulation, scapegoating, backstabbing, etc. She also has the advantage of having our mother as her loyal protector and enabler. I went no contact with my sister once I knew what I was dealing with, but I believe she still smears me every chance she gets. The hardest part is not knowing (and not being able to ask people) what she has said about me behind my back. For instance, she recently went on a trip 1500 mi away from home to visit our Aunt and cousins. I am almost certain she used the opportunity to poison them against me. It sounds paranoid, but it is so hard not knowing what lies are being told about me to get everyone on her “team”. I can’t come out and ask them for fear of being labeled “paranoid”, and they would not likely tell me the truth anyway lest they get themselves tangled up in our battle. Unlike your sister, she hasn’t written a book so it’s not laid out for me like it was for you. In a small way you are lucky (as ludicrous as that sounds) because at least your sister’s slander and libel was exposed, so you are aware of how she portrayed you publicly, and you can battle her in the legal arena. In my case, I live in a different city so can only see the slander reflected in the eyes and demeanor of those I chance to meet on rare visits to my hometown. You are right that exposing the dirty deeds of these evil people is the only way to battle back, but my sister has all the advantages in our situation. She has access to lifelong family friends and I don’t. So all I can do is distance myself further from old friends and family and try to overcome the sadness and isolation I feel. It’s truly a helpless feeling and all you can do is give up. It’s hard for me because I’m not a quitter, but I really have no other choice the way I see it.
You know what’s funny is that when I first read your story it was from your sister Joan’s perspective, and I actually thought she was the victim – that is, until I read much of your blog writings and came to the conclusion that it was she that must have been the perpetrator. The claims she made against you, your sister, spouses, etc. were just too outlandish to be believed. All I can say is she has one wild imagination!! But look at all the damage one disordered person can do to a family – she literally turned all of your lives upside down!! So sorry for what she has put you through and I commend you for fighting back any way you see fit. These types are family destroyers.
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I too have been the victim of a “smear campaign” by my Narc Father with my siblings, cousins, friends, whoever–I don’t even know what I’m accused, convicted and condemned for doing! The sad part is why don’t they just come to me and allow me to resolve whatever crimes they believe I’ve committed. I’d be happy to resolve any problems they have with me–discuss it–work it out. I’ve told them so many times. But they change their numbers, delete their email accounts, return my letters–or just ignore me. For 18 years. That’s longer than some condemned murderers are imprisoned.
Besides, when does my solitary confinement end? Never–I guess. And of course–it’s all my fault (I would like to know what my “fault” actually is–surely that’s not too much to ask? –but evidently it is–I don’t ask anymore)
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Dysfunctional families absolutely require a scapegoat—and you’re it. Your family requires you to be the bad person they make you out to be. That’s why they won’t discuss the problem with you. They don’t want to give you an opportunity to show that you aren’t bad, that you are undeserving of mistreatment, or give you the keys to unlock the prison they have placed you in because you could prove them wrong and it would reflect very (truthfully and) badly on them. That is something their egos will not tolerate. They would also risk losing their precious scapegoat whose “badness” they depend upon to feel good about themselves. Because they derive pleasure from the power they have over you, they are not motivated to “resolve” (what you experience as) a problem. They have created a pathological scenario that works for their pathologies. You need to stop hoping and trying to get through to them and get out. You have no obligation to supply their twisted needs, you don’t deserve to be used and abused, and you don’t have time for it, either. You have a life to live. You should know now how to recognize toxic people. Good. Be alert and never let one of them close to you again! Look forward and focus on developing your character and your skills and you will find people who appreciate you. And always remember; you are not alone. We are many who can relate to your experiences and our voices are just beginning to be heard.
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Let me add my voice to yours, you are not alone.
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i read somewhere that ‘truth does not need an army, it’s only these cowards who need their followers to support their lies. they are the sad pathetic losers you are and always will be the winner.i have to talk in these terms because these personality types only care about winning by any means necessary whilst we have moral character and will never sink as low as them and by this very act we win hands down.
being kind, valiant, truthful,sincere are traits i admire in others and myself these are traits that make you really happy. So know yourself and know that you stand on firm moral ground. and as pathetic as they are they know that they are standing on quick sand and everything they do is built on lies and deception nothing of worth or value, their lives are vast pits of emptiness. any good they do is swallowed up by this evil they are perpetrating.
let them get on with it i say and laugh, cultivate interests with new people, new hobbies, and above all get to know yourself and keep what you love and get more of it and let go of what you hate.
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