Home > Human nature? > Burn the other cheek?

Burn the other cheek?

I am not sure what it really means to forgive, but I do regard it as against my principles to ‘forgive’ an offender who neither shows genuine remorse or offers an authentic apology. Countless times, I have been criticized and my moral character has been denigrated by a self-appointed ‘moral authority’ who has mindlessly internalized social norms or religious dogma that I mindfully disagree with, such as the ‘obligation’ to ‘forgive and forget’ under all circumstances. Such a person may self righteously condemn an abuse victim who will not ‘forgive,’ instead of confronting the offender, who possibly has no remorse and abuses with impunity. Judgmental focus on the victim effectively turns the tables so that the victim looks like the wrongdoer; one who can be admonished for ‘holding a grudge,’ refusing to ‘move on’, or even be accused of ‘escalating’ conflict. With the attention directed at the victim, the offender can walk away feeling triumphant and is not held accountable for his behavior.


  1. March 4, 2012 at 01:20

    Hey, thanks for linking my entry.

    I wouldn’t blame or judge the victim for not forgiving, that’s their prerogative. But I do wonder, form the victim’s point of view, is it better for me (the victim) to forgive? Does not forgiving harm ME more, since I’m carrying all this blame and anger and bitterness with me?

    That’s what I was wondering in this other entry haha: Venom.


  2. Jangali
    March 21, 2012 at 10:57

    Raintree: yes and no. It’s good to ultimately forgive but not if you take a short cut and really repress. Have a look at my article, also linked (thanks!)


  1. No trackbacks yet.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: