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DARVO: Role Reversal


A strategy common to all abusers is called DARVO.


eny the abuse, Attack the victim, and Reverse the roles of the Victim and the Offender.


This is roughly how it can be done (in exaggeration for emphasis):

You are stupid.
Are you accusing me of being stupid!?
You are accusing me of making accusations!
…but what you said was rude and untrue.
More accusations! And you are calling me a rude liar!
You are hostile and name calling. Leave me alone.
Why did you call me ‘stupid’?
You are harassing me.
I want an explanation. Was it something
I said that sounded stupid?
I told you to leave me alone! Stop harassing me! Look, everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person for no reason!

Do you recognize this scenario? Please click on ‘Leave a comment’ above, and share your story!

  1. gertmcqueen
    August 24, 2012 at 14:30

    This is so great, right on…
    birthsibling that was placed into adoption has been harassing us for decades, wrote a libelous book which we were able to get pulled, we have two blogs detailing all the sorted crap this ‘adoptee’ has done and is still doing to us…we will not be silent, I have just ‘followed’ this blog and ask for others to come and take a look, thanks for such a great summary of how they work on you.


    • Disillusioned
      August 24, 2012 at 18:20

      There is so much deception, lying, and cheating going on all around us. People who play the blame game can be very skilled. Knowing the acronym DARVO is helpful in both recognizing and addressing this sneaky and disgusting practice.


  2. Karli McClane
    November 17, 2012 at 21:08

    These tactics were some of the most frustrating and confusing. They do love playing the role of victim.


    • Disillusioned
      November 17, 2012 at 23:06

      Isn’t it good to have a name for this nasty business?


      • Karli McClane
        November 18, 2012 at 15:14

        Sure does make it easier.


  1. March 22, 2015 at 21:52


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