DARVO: Role Reversal
A strategy common to all abusers is called DARVO.
Deny the abuse, Attack the victim, and Reverse the roles of the Victim and the Offender.
This is roughly how it can be done (in exaggeration for emphasis):
You are stupid.
Are you accusing me of being stupid!?
You are accusing me of making accusations!
…but what you said was rude and untrue.
More accusations! And you are calling me a rude liar!
Why did you call me ‘stupid’?
You are harassing me.
I want an explanation. Was it something
I told you to leave me alone! Stop harassing me! Look, everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person for no reason!
At this point, the aggressor, the one who actually made assaults, may threaten his victim into submission or use the ‘silent treatment’ (also called ‘stonewalling’) until the victim gives up trying to hold the abuser accountable. He will characterize his victim as the offender and himself as the victim as he complains about the “harassment” he is being subjected to—without telling the whole story, of course. He may tell other people that the victim is menacing, irrational, or mentally unstable to start rumors that support his one sided version of the issue, strengthen his credibility, and damage his victim’s reputation. He may use deceptive tactics, such as pretending to be hurt or worried and fabricate disinformation to manipulate other people to side with him, isolate his victim, and maximize the harm. If successful, the abuser gains sympathy and support while his victim is disgraced and may face social rejection. The abuser escapes accountability and, lacking empathy and remorse, is gratified by “winning” his power trip. His victim gets blamed and shamed and may suffer immensely from long lasting—or irreversible—damage to his reputation, self esteem, and relations.
Do you recognize this scenario? Please click on ‘Leave a comment’ above, and share your story!
- Denial and DARVO (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
- The SMEAR CAMPAIGN—a silent and preemptive attack to destroy you—(AfterNarcissisticAbuse.wordpress.com)
- Baiting & Bashing (PsychopathResistance.wordpress.com)
- Narcissists Provoke People, Then Blame Them (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
- DARVO (changingminds.org)
- Stonewalling or The Silent Treatment (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
- The Smear Campaign—Hallmark of the Sociopath (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
- Slander Tactics (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
- The 5 Senses of Abuse (larkkirkwood.wordpress.com)
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (PsychopathResistance.wordpress.com)
- Being Manipulated By A Pro … The Narcissist (nakiafleming.wordpress.com)
- The Salem Witches
- Bullies and Bystanders
- Personal Bill of Rights
- The Family Scapegoat
- Victim Blaming
- Objecting to Mistreatment
- Illusions, Delusions, and Lies
- Martin Luther King Jr: Protest Evil!
- Playing the Blame Game as a Manipulation Tactic
- Never Admit Guilt
- It’s always your fault.
- Mobbing And The Virginia Tech Massacre
- Blame, Denial, Blame…
- Commonly Misused Psychology Terms
- The Silent Treatment
- Your Fault
- Why Victims & Survivors MUST Keep Talking
- The Silence of the Bystander
- Rumors, Lies, and Blame
- Sociopathic Projection
- Threats Become Targets
- Sigmund Freud
- Denial and Blamelessness
- The Joker
- Falsely Accused
- The Blame Game
- ‘Flying Monkeys’ or ‘Useful Idiots’
- Narcissists provoke people, then blame them.
- Red Rover “Friends”
- The Victim Act
- The Blaming Mindset
- Responsibility and Blame
- Denial and Blame-shifting
- Misguided Effort
- The Essence of a Witch-Hunt
- Response to the Irascibility Charge
- Baiting and Bashing
- In the Absence of Self-Scrutiny
- Animosity from Ignorance
- Charisma and Confidence: Beware!
- Psychopaths lie.
- Pushing Blame
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- Game theory and the sociopath
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- Manipulative woman seduces her husband’s best friend, part 1