The Silent Partner and the Silent Majority
The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser’s side against the victim. She, or he, can be the other parent, who abdicates from parental responsibility to protect the children, or worse; sacrifices their well-being in order to make her/his own life easier.
In most cases of family abuse, there usually isn’t only one single Silent Partner. Several, if not many, family members collude with, protect, cooperate with the abuser, and participate in scapegoating, pressuring, ostracizing, or trying to silence the victim. I will refer to these evil participants in our abuse as the Silent Majority, although that term requires a bit of clarification. In many instances they are far from silent. Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.
While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim. They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself. The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser himself. They don’t ever believe there’s anything wrong with him. They don’t see a problem with his behavior. Why? It’s simple. Birds of a feather stick together.
The Silent Partner and The Silent Majority don’t bat an eye at betraying an innocent family member and serving her up on a silver platter to be sacrificed to vicious, lifelong abuse. They specialize in re-victimizing the victim. Although not as open and obvious about it as the Alpha Dog abuser, they are every bit as guilty as he is. Either with their silence, or when speaking up against the wrong person, they allow and encourage the abuse to continue. They are partners with the abuser. They are abusers, too, and we need to recognize them.
Reblog courtesy of Luke 17:3 Ministries
- Domestic abuse: changing the conversation (guardian.co.uk)
- 16 signs you’re in an abusive relationship… and how to get out quick (mosvinbami.com)
- Shocking News: Bullying on the Aging Population (belmarrahealth.com)
- Man jailed for six months for abusing boy (todayonline.com)